No cashflow for this girl, no no no!

I have no drive to write at this point.

I am tired, cranky and moody .. 

So, I have bruised the ball of my foot, stubbed my toe and lack a lot of sleep! My mom and brother surprised me and came down yesterday night and too bad I had to work today, because we could have had a good time spending the rest of the day together.. 

 I am at work and have some time to waste. I have been spending a lot of time flipping through magazines and finding designs for my magazine. I enjoy this thoroughly. I love the fact I have to edit stories, help design a magazine, proof, etc.. It is amazing. You know you have a great job when you feel as if you should be paying your boss for being able to do what you are doing!

 I haven't officially announced what I do, so here goes. I am the managing editor of Touchdown Alabama Magazine. I have the job of looking over everyone, gathering everything for the magazine, making the issue happen and getting it to the public. My first issue as an editor is coming out this week. We have all worked hard on this issue and I am excited about it! You can receive your copy at Barnes & Noble and most convenient stores around the state. We sale from the Northeast corner of Alabama all the way to the Southwest corner of Alabama. The magazine is 48 pages of full-color glossy content.  

 So, since I have been doing that, working 40 hours a week and getting ready for my classes that start tomorrow (so not cool!) I have had no time or drive to blog. Therefore that is where the title of this post comes from. No cash flow for this girl, no,no,no! If I was getting paid to do this blog, I wouldn't have cashflow coming in simply because no content is going out. This post is lame and I am sorry if you're reading this, because it is definitely an upset. Sorry!!

Better posts are to come. I may even post one later tonight! Who knows!? I don't. . 

What's in 584.98 miles?

Hope, sadness, sympathy and tears.

Lord make me a rainbow; I'll shine down on my mother. 

It is 4:06 a.m. here in Bama and I can't sleep. By now most of you know I live in Tuscaloosa, but my heart is hurting for Joplin, Mo. When I heard of the news it hit a little harder than it normally would. I am not going to lie, if someone would have told me two months ago that Joplin, Mo., got hit by a tornado that had killed over 116 people it wouldn't have registered how traumatic that could be. 

 I opened my Twitter account on my Macbook earlier this morning and saw Anderson Cooper's tweet "The conditions here are miserable for rescue workers and survivors hoping to check on their homes," Cooper tweeted. "We're live in Joplin #ac360 10p." My stomach dropped and my heart sank. I couldn't fathom having to suffer through the amount of devastation they're facing and will face with time. It will never be the same there. I saw one photo and couldn't bring myself to look at more. 

 All this comes after the night two of my friends contacted me and told me about the Discovery Channel's show on the tornado damage across the South. They wanted me to tune in. There is no way I could ever watch that show at this point in my life. I still have a video that I accidentally took during the whole tornado. [I wanted to capture the tornado on the TV right before our power went out. As soon as I got my recorder pulled up our power went out and we ran to take shelter. I never hit stop and it recorded the whole event along with when we ran outside and everything thereafter until I realized it was still recording]. In three days it will be a month that my friends and me took shelter from one of the deadliest tornados in history. This is not something someone gets over quickly, or if ever for that matter. I can't spend time upstairs because it reminds me of the tornado. Every time I look out my staircase window I see the damage. Every time I drive to work I see the damage. It is harder than hell driving those dark, deserted and devastating roads at 3 a.m. each morning. I have learned to look straight ahead and not pay attention. If I blur it out then it is easier. 

 I will never forget when my roommate ran down the stairs and first told us of the news that it had took the lives of three people I knew. It was surreal. It wasn't registering. I was sitting in the dark living room, steadily rocking back and forth in my recliner. I remember thinking in my head "No, no they're OK. They're OK." My brother called their cell phones, I called their cells phones and little did we know what we were calling into. We were calling into devastation, long nights of not sleeping and terrible memories. 

 I will never forget the first time I drove down McFarland Blvd and had to see the damage. Tears strolled down my cheeks as I looked to my left and knew that is where so many people lost their lives. Like any other tragedy you don't survive it and put it behind you easily. You grieve, you cry and you barely manage from time to time. I have my moments like everyone else. I have my moments where I catch myself quietly remembering lying in bed to the sounds of medical helicopters hovering over my house. The night I had to sleep with my roommate, rather I say lay with my roommate because shut eye wasn't in the picture that night. I remember lying there thinking I was the only one awake in my house when the five other people in my house were awake also, but it was our time. Our time where we recollected and thanked God we were still breathing. I remember hearing the birds chirping and the rays of light beaming through the blinds that morning. I remember lying there with tears in my eyes thinking "They will never hear the birds again." 

 I relate music to events in my life and although I might not have known some of the victims of the wrath mother nature wreaked on my town, but I did get the chance to meet two and reconnect with another. I remember standing on my porch with my brother talking to Morgan about school and Picasso. I remember standing at my door as Blake ran by and made me scrape my toe against the bricks. I remember saying bye to Blake and Morgan in my staircase on my way to bed. I remember it all. I remember it so vivid it hurts. Every time I make the trip up those dreadful steps to my room I pass the place where I said my first and last goodbye to Morgan and my last goodbye to Blake. It hits home, so close to home, because that tornado took a turn. It took a turn towards their house when if it hadn't it would have leveled our house and not theirs. When I hear certain songs it strikes a soft spot and I start to melt. The world starts to slow down and my mind flashes back to the clouds, the rain, the strikes, the pain, the terror and the sounds. 

 Now I sit here with tears streaming down my eyes as I know Joplin, Mo., residents feel the same pain as I and thousands of other people have. As a month has came and almost went the pain is still strong, the memories are all too vivid and the reminders are everywhere. 

This song is bittersweet. 

The lyrics speak and 

the meaning hurts. 

I love Tuscaloosa, TV and men.

OK, I know you think I am some other kind of social-less woman... 

I am at work for 13 hours tonight and had to go to sleep early last night. That means I never got to post my blog from yesterday and that means here it is. Get excited!!

The place where I come from has
mountains and vast farmland.

 As I tossed my hair in a messy bun, hopped in my car around 5:43 p.m. yesterday and headed to work I realized something I have said time and time again. As I turned left onto Veterans Memorial Parkway and headed down the hill that gives you a mini bird's eye view of the town I thought to myself, "I love Tuscaloosa." The sun was setting on the town right in front of my eyes. I didn't have sunglasses on and figured I would just flip down my visor, but instead got off track. I realized I love this city. It hit me right then. I have lived here four years and I now call this town my home. It isn't my hometown, but it is my town now. Within the year I may be one of the many to use this saying.

 "I came to Tuscaloosa for an education but stayed for the city." Although I think this won't be the case, we shall see. So what you ask is this woman talking about? Well, it is refreshing to get that excited, scared rush of emotions all at once. I just knew at that moment that I loved the city I was in. That I love the people I have met in this town, the atmosphere and learning experiences I have had here. Of course, all of you that know me know I love some Sex and the City and that is where this blog is coming from. There is an episode that came on last night when I got home that I casually tuned in to. I am going to give a brief overview of what the episode consisted of and why it is valid in this posting. 

Title: Anchors Away

Year: 2002

Summary: 

      Miranda is determined not to become a mental full-time-mother, but the reality of breastfeeding is inescapable. Charlotte blurts out to believe the theory everyone only gets two great loves. Carrie is alone but determined to enjoy the countless forms of entertainment in New York, even claiming she's in love with the unpredictable city. After three weeks of calls from Richard, Samantha is out for revenge, and in public. Fortunately it's fleet week, when the city swarms with USNavy boys, who invite the non-moms to a hot party.

Quotes: 

   "Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be." - Carrie

  "Everyone knows you only get two great loves in your life." - Charlotte 

  "How many great loves do you think you get in a lifetime?" - Carrie 

      - "Well, maybe one if you're lucky." - Sailor Louis

  "If Louis was right and you only get one great love, New York may just be mine." -Carrie

Watch Anchors Away now.

 Sex and the City leads me to my next point. I love TV, in that episodes like this make me think of my own life and it puts things in perspective. As I sat there and watched that episode (for the 20th time at least). I thought wow, I just realized today how much I do love the city I am in. Tuscaloosa isn't, by far, one of my loves though. I have said this many times, but I love Sex and the City. The show is meant to represent every part to a woman. Each woman has a sexy side, sophisticated side, wild side and professional side. The episodes all have a bigger meaning and smaller ones inside that. I don't want anyone to mistake me for a bubble head, in that I think so deeply about this show, but honestly maybe you should sit down one day and take this show in for a while. Carrie is relatable in the fact that I write and she writes. I actually sat down one night to write an article, turned the show on and she was doing the same thing (minus turning Sex and the City on). It is nice to have a show that makes you think about your life and all the aspects of your life.

 Now, the sailors trail me into my final point. They represent the fact that I love men (or I should say a man). I believe I was born to find my second great love. I want to say I wish I was born to meet my first great love, but maybe (just maybe) he has already been in my life and made his exit. It was a fun, heart racing, short and wild run. As I sat talking to my best friend last night I started talking about my first "real" interest DO NOT MISTAKE him for my first great love. I went on about how he is so different, how I am so different and that I just don't have time to deal with a man that treats me the way he does and did. Her response was "Wow, I can't believe you have gotten over him. I thought you would never get over him." She was stunned by my admittance that he was NOT my first great love. She was also shocked that who I referred to as my first great love was indeed my first great love. Love is fluid yet so concrete. Here is a short view of what I think of relationships and a life partner.

 "I believe it is very true that you need to be with someone for at least two years. (If you are with your significant other for every major holiday two times over then you know them. You at least know them on another level, a level in which you should know them if you're willing and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them.) I believe that relationships are hard work. Nothing ever comes easy and when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with it will be a work in progress like everything else in life." 

 I believe our lives are like a puzzle. A puzzle that God is putting together and we just keep the pieces moving while he is putting us in the right slot. I believe that significant others are like stepping stones. Each person is a stepping stone into another part of our life and another journey we are about to take. Each prior person makes us realize that someone is out there better suited for us. When you find that special person (your second great love) you love them in a way that you loved the others just slightly different. Not to say that you would love them any less than you loved the previous people, but that you will love the "right one" in every way you loved the ones before. I will give you an example, simply because I know I just lost everyone in translation. 

E.g. = I loved "Tom" in a way that I didn't love "Jack," and I loved Jack in a way that I didn't love Tom, but now that I have met "Max" I realize I never had an amazing love before. I love Max the same way I loved Tom AND Jack. Max makes me feel the way all of the men in my past made me feel, the only thing is that Max is one person and he makes me feel like the way that it took 50 different men to make me feel. 

OK so now that we are done with that I can move on! To gather my thoughts and start to end this post I will pinpoint the meaning. 

❉❥I love the city and the people that surround me. 

❉❥I love that I can find things in life that make me realize how happy and grateful I am. Things that make me understand how lucky and blessed my life has been and is. 

❉❥I love the fact that I am looking for the person that holds the first internal part of my puzzle. 

 I am a hopeless romantic that steps into her flats, flip flops, heels and tennis shoes each day in hopes that I run into my last great love. Maybe I believe in this and maybe I don't. Maybe you do and maybe you don't. No one can tell you exactly what will happen a minute from now, an hour from now, a day, a week or even a year from now but you can always hope for the best and take strides to fulfill your puzzle. 

TV edition: Wasting time while wasting away

Do you ever have those days where you absolutely do nothing? 

You don't have anything on the agenda and you feel free to just relax. You just want to sit in your pajamas, sweats or shorts and t-shirt and do absolutely nothing! That was my day today. I got in from work right around 7:02 a.m. and hit the couch. I needed a little time to gather my thoughts before I went upstairs and hit the hay. I have a TV in my room (first time in two years) and don't get me wrong, I like watching it but in the mornings around that time there is nothing on. With the exception of Saved by the Bell and Fresh Prince the pickin's are slim. Well I have been feeling a little under the weather here lately and I needed to take some Benadryl to 1) get some sleep 2) make my throat feel better. The latter didn't work too much. Anyways I usually wake up, use the restroom, pull my hair up and head downstairs for grub. The past few days I have had some time on my hands and have gotten to watch a little more TV than one should. OK so I walk down the stairs, grab a water, sit down on the couch, read my emails, edit a couple stories and then turn the TV on. I realize it is about 3 p.m. (remember I didn't get off work until 7 a.m.) and I think to myself "Hey! my shows are coming on." I flip through the guide and find my show Friends. I never watched Friends or liked the show until this past summer. Long story as to why I now find it interesting, but yes I watch Friends now. So when my hour-long block of Friends is over I literally turn the channel one down and watch Family Guy. When my hour-long Family Guy session is over I head back to the previous channel and watch an hour of King of Queens. When that finishes up I decide what I am having for dinner and resume to my daily activities or simply........ you guessed it, watch more TV! (Now I know most of you are thinking "Wow she is a lazy bum who has nothing to do!") Well, you are wrong. When I say I have absolutely nothing to do I am normally talking about I have no reason to change my clothes and head outside. Except this time I said I had nothing to do, but indeed I did. I am had work that night, but that was so late in the night/morning that I didn't consider it an issue. So I typically edit at least one story, answer 50 phone calls, cook dinner, review layouts, etc. . on a normal day. Today was no different. I did have a lack of phone calls today which was extremely nice. 

 I felt extremely low today. My stomach was uneasy, my throat hurt and I was light headed, but all that eased away with a cat nap on the couch. So, to get to the point of my post I had a day where I literally realized "Wow, I just gave couch potato a new meaning." I literally flipped between two channels all day and was happy as a kid with rock candy! 

 When someone asks me what I like to do to relax I typically say "I love to just sit by myself and watch my TV shows." If you want to make me happy just leave me alone and let me turn every light in the house off and turn the volume up. I know that seems really lame and absolutely lazy, but when you have a busy schedule and don't get too much time to yourself then you gain a new perspective on the TV (just saying)! 

 When school was still in full swing I never watched TV. I might have gotten to watch about 30 minutes of some random show, but never just a sit down for hours, fry my brain and kill my eyes session. That is what I am going for this summer, as Juno MacGuff would say "Whoa, dream big!" While I am dreaming big in my own way, don't think I am lazy. I am taking a summer class, still the managing editor of a magazine and totaling around 38 hours of work a week. Now tell me I don't deserve hours-upon-hours of TV time when I get it! Soon enough my time will dwindle away and the TV will go unturned. Until then expect me on my lazy bum watching TV! Call if you need a tune-in buddy. 

I start with Friends!

Then I flip over to Family Guy..

Where I then sometimes find
 Everybody Loves Ray on.

Roseanne is saved for those late-night
 boredom sessions. 

Golden Girls is an everyday obsession.
 I can't get enough of these women.

10x better than Family Guy if I must say so myself!

My favorite show. The season premiere was actually tonight!

My midday obsession when I haven't
worked all night prior.

My weekend fix when I get home from work.

Love this show. It is between
Friends and Family Guy.

My favorite channels

There is a first time for everything, including my homemade apple pie

This is the first time I have ever made a homemade apple pie. It is also the first time I remember eating one. 

Not saying that I have been missing out on the awesome thing we call apple pie, but I do not remember having an apple pie that was completely made from scratch. Of course I have posted in my blog prior to this saying that I was going to fix one when I had the time. Seeming as I am just working and spending time with the magazine I have had gobs of time on my hands this past week. I just needed to pick up some cinnamon and nutmeg and I was movin' and a groovin'. I stopped by Target on my way home from a meeting and started the show! I knew it would be time consuming when I started, but it was worth every minute of it! Plus I got to wear my new apron (not the first time I have used it this week either)! 

 So, the recipe was really simple but time consuming. I don't suggest you make this if you are in a time crunch, but most of you reading this know that fact already. 

Two pie-crust recipe: 

 2 cups of all-purpose flour

 1 teaspoon of salt

 2/3 cups of shortening

 5-7 tablespoons of cold water

Apple filling mixture:

 6 cups of peeled and sliced apples

 1 cup of sugar

 1 teaspoon of cinnamon

 1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg

 (I added 1/4 cup of brown sugar this is optional)

Pastry:

  Spoon flour into measuring cup and level off. Make sure to loosely fill the measuring cup instead of packing full. Combine flour and salt in a large bowl. Using a pastry blender (I don't have one of these so I just used my fingers), add in the shortening until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. After that sprinkle the flour mixture with water. One tablespoon at a time while mixing lightly with a fork. Keep adding water until dough is just moist enough to hold together. Shape dough into 2 balls for the two-crust pie. Flatten the first ball and roll it on a lightly floured surface. Roll from the center to the edge into a circle that is at least two inches larger than the 9 inch pan. Repeat with the second ball of dough. Place dough in pan, fill with filling and cover top and poke holes in the top to vent. 

Filling:

  In a large bowl combine all filling ingredients and toss lightly. Spoon the apple mixture into a pie-crust lined pan. Top with the second crust and poke holes in several places. Bake at 425 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes or until apples are tender. 

OK, here is the lowdown about this recipe and my faults, of course! I had some trouble with the dough. It took me centuries (it seemed) to get the dough rolled out correctly. My top layer of dough didn't stretch across the pie and it was disappointing, but all was well in the end. Rolling out the dough wasn't the funnest part of the recipe and neither was peeling and cutting the apples. To get the six cups of apples I really only needed about four apples. My roommate was actually surprised by how tender the apples turned out just to be cooked for 40 minutes. I am a huge advocate of cutting things into tiny pieces. It always cooks faster and fills up quicker. So it took me a good hour to an hour and a half to get the apples and dough finished. 

 All-in-all I liked the recipe and it tastes even better with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top! 

I cook when I am bored and I eat when I am hungry

I have realized that I cook when I am bored. I will rummage something together whether it is good or not. Right now I am obsessed with the simple fruit dip you can make with cream cheese and marshmallow cream. It is great on any type of fruit really. My favorite fruits to eat it with are oranges and grapes.

Recipe:

One package of cream cheese

One container of marshmallow cream

Blend until smooth 

Enjoy!

It is too late to start mixing up a concoction tonight, but I have never made a homemade apple pie so I am starting on that tomorrow! I am excited. It is nice being off work for a few days and not having priorities every second of the day! 

My not-so planted plants

I am a fanatic of plants and flowers, but I have no room to plant and  I keep buying!

Well, I live in a rented house for college but I can't seem to stop buying plants. I bought three ferns, a lavender plant, lemon balm plant, ponytail palm tree and a rose bush. I couldn't upkeep my lavender as well as I thought and my first one died so I had to buy another one. Along with all the plants listed above I bought some tomato plants........ or so I thought. My tomato story is long and tedious. I am a huge lover of homegrown tomatoes, but sometimes it is harder to get those than you would think. 

 My mom had some tomato seeds and planted a few in some tiny planters to get me started and then sent them on their way with me. I kept them alive for about two weeks and then the tornado hit and they died. After they died I decided I needed to get some more because I have a Topsy Turvey and I WANT my tomatoes this summer! So, with that being said I went and got some tomato plants at Wal*Mart. I apparently was grabbing cucumber plants instead of tomato plants though. A week later Nick realized those plants indeed were cucumber plants instead of tomatoes. That is my luck no doubt. So, I am still behind on the tomato plants but rest assured I will have me some amazingly awesome AND may I add juicy tomato plants before the summer is finished! 

 I have found that my lavender smells the best and my ferns / lemon balm looks the best. The easiest to maintain is my lemon balm. They pretty much take care of themselves. My ferns are looking pretty good, but not in the attached photo. That was the day I got them and I haven't taken anymore photos of them since. I have attached pictures of my plants! 

Prices of plants:

Cucumber: $1.97

Lemon balm: $3.98

Lavender: $3.33

Ferns: $7.49 each

Ponytail Palm: $3 (on sale because they were pitiful looking)

Rose bush: Free (my mom bought it for me!)

My ponytail palm tree. It can reach 10ft. 

I love how you can keep these inside easily.

My lavender plant. They're not the easiest to upkeep.
It smells great though. Not too strong either. 

My cucumber plants. I hope they last. 

Lemon Balm is a great herb for tea. It smells fresh. 

My rose bush. It will create lush red flowers. 

My working gloves. These are $2.98 at Wal*Mart. 

Short shopping spree

My short shopping spree with my momma

Momma and I got to spend some time together last week also! We went to my favorite store........ drum roll please...... Ross!! It is one of the best stores ever! If you haven't been then you need to head on over and get to shopping! This is store has it all, literally.. well with the exception of refrigerated food. It is pretty awesome! 

This patterned dress falls right below my knees. 

 I always enjoy shopping here because they have cheap clothes. They have awesome dresses for every season! I go in there and always buy a dress. It never fails that I will typically come out with at least one dress on my arm. This time when I went in there I had a running count of 23 dresses to try on within 12 minutes. I think that was a personal best. I narrowed it down to five dresses but stuck with one and here she is. She fits comfortably and costed me $15. 

I haven't purchased an item that has been over $20. Yeah I know, I know this store REALLY IS starting to sound perfect! Not only did I find a great steal, but I snagged a perfect pair of Roxy brand flip flops. These flip flops are retailed at $34 but I paid $13 for them. 

One of my favorite parts: the pocket.

 Now here comes the icing on top of the cake. I FINALLY got an apron. I have been wanting an apron for the longest and I finally decided on this cute number. It cost me $8.99. Not too shabby for an apron. At least now I won't have dishwater all over my shirts or raw meat particles on my shirt either. I know all that sounds disgusting... because it is! That is why I bought an apron!





 The only bad thing about Ross is that the closest one to me (from both my houses) is at least 45 minutes away. This is a huge buzzkill. They need one in Tuscaloosa.

Sunshine, summertime and sister time!

My mini day with my sister Amanda.

My sister and I got to spend time together this past Wednesday (May 11). She always takes my dad to his doctor's appointment in Gadsden so this time I was finally home and made the trip with her. She normally goes to the mall, to eat and browse around the town, but this time we got to spend time together. 

Mater's Pizza located in downtown Gadsden, Ala. This is a 12'' pizza.

 I told Amanda I didn't think we had ever just went shopping together. It was nice to get to spend time with her. I have spent time and went places with Stephanie, but not with Amanda. 

 We went to a little pizza eatery that I have only been to three times and that she had never been to. This pizza joint is known for their thick cheese and ginormous slices. I normally don't drink a lot of soda, but I filled up with two cups of Pepsi and started off with a salad. It was an awesome lunch that was very filling. We could only eat one slice each. The restaurant was a lot bigger than I remembered it. The last time I had been was in 2002. The restaurant now has an oyster bar included! They have games, pool tables and a cozy atmosphere. 

It is larger than it looks.

 Before we ate our hearts out we ventured into the mall. Now this mall is cool in that it the hallways or main entries (whatever you prefer) are carpeted. The lighting is dim and it is relaxing from a bright, summer-sun filled day! The dark, cool interior was refreshing. She had a couple of movies to return to FYE and FYI you must have a receipt! I prefer Movie Stop to FYE but that is my opinion. We just browsed around the mall for a little bit until we passed a Kiss My Tiara boutique. Now obviously you can guess what kind of shop this is. Everything just so happened to be 20% off that day. I noticed a lot of houndstooth print in the jewelry so I veered in that direction first off. A month ago I bought three elephant rings (one of which I am wearing in the photo above) and in this little boutique I found a necklace to match all three rings! One ring matched this necklace perfect actually. These will be great to wear during sporting events! So, with that being said I couldn't pass up a $4 necklace that is so versatile I can wear with numerous outfits along with three rings. 

 It was a nice day getting to spend it with my sister. On our way home we actually got to see the beginning of the Longest Yard Sale! I have never been and this year will be no different. Anyways, it was an fun day!

Don't cross your T's and dot your I's too soon

Crossing my T's and dotting my I's too soon is what I do best. 


You can cross your T's and dot your I's too fast with anything. You can assume you have enough eggs in your refrigerator to make a cake, assume it won't rain when you don't want to carry your umbrella or think you will be with someone too quickly. Of course I am guilty of all three. 

☑Eggs for cake

☑No rain

☑Great guy

☑Guilty of speaking too soon

This blog post will be short and contain something a man told me tonight. "You think you have someone when you don't or you think we won't talk again."

I have enjoyed getting to know someone a lot here lately, but things aren't always great. Talking on the phone for hours, having a good bit in common and speaking the same lingo is all well when you're happy and getting to know each other, but if things start going under then what happens? Do you see things from the same lens? Do you still think about all the good things in common and the hours you've spoken and gotten to know each other? 

One of my friends once told me to focus on the things you don't like about him and you won't want to be with him anymore. That is not great advice, but sometimes it may be. Sometimes it just takes sitting back and realizing that maybe you're not meant to be with the person and that everything you have in common is nice but maybe it is just coincidences or even a friendship stepping stone. Or maybe the timing is wrong and you've got to let the flow of everything slide off time's fingertips. You never really know, but sometimes you just have to step back and realize things are what they are. Enjoy the opportunities you have at this point in your life and let everything else unfold. I keep telling myself this and try to take it day by day. We shall see how this turns out. 

I promise you guys my blog hasn't turned into some kind of smooshy, man-driven blog. I have had a man in my life for a little bit of time and whatever consumes your time or makes you think about your life is what you put down in your blog, or at least I do. ...

I am about to tumble over because of my sleep deprived body is shutting down. Look for me to post more than one blog a day here soon. 

Some songs to make my heart and mind disagree.

Man, sometimes you think you know when you've found the right one [right one as in your soul mate, your best friend, your confidant, your other half] but you never do.  Well, that is if you're single. I have been single for the majority of my life and there has been one person I saw myself walking down the aisle with. I could picture everything when I closed my eyes. He made me happy. He made my heart skip a beat, made my cheeks blush and made me smile just by saying my name. 

 He had a way about him that made my day. I saw my phone light up and the world melted away as if I was stuck in a movie. I was standing there by myself with him on the other line. No one heard me and no one saw me. I saw everything and everyone, but no one knew I existed when we talked. He once told me this. "It is you and me now, Jennifer." After that moment I let my guard down slowly but surely. I remember everything about him. He will never leave my thoughts or my heart. Everyday I think of him. I have made a vow to my friends and myself that once I find someone that makes me feel the way he made me feel I will not let go and I will not let it get away without giving him my whole heart again. 

 I feel that we only fall in love one time, but we love many times. Obviously he wasn't the right man for me and there is another man there for me, but it sure does seem impossible. The dating game and men in general seem lack luster to me at this point. I am only 22 years old and that is something a lot of women my age let slip from their mouths. I should be happy that I am single and do not have to answer to anyone or so my friends say. I see the opposite side of that logic. I see that as not having to answer to anyone, but having someone to come home to and someone to be there for me when I need it most. Now don't get me wrong friends can fill that void until a certain point and then you're obviously not going to spend the rest of your life with a friend that isn't a romantic partner. Or at least in my world things don't work like that. 

 I have longed for the feelings I had with him. With the man that forever changed my life and changed my outlook on love and my future. I have came to the realization that it would never have worked. We wanted different things out of life. We were at different points in our life and it would not have meshed well. He is happy now and I am still searching. 

 I am searching for the moment my heart skips a beat and my cheeks start to blush at the same time. The moment where I feel as if the world has melted away and it is just me and him looking outside at the world. When we finish our lives together. That will be the most amazing ending to a storybook romance, huh?

Marry Me: Train

Forever can never be long enough for me

To feel like I've had long enough with you

Forget the world now we won't let them see

But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted

Love has surely shifted my way

Marry Me

Today and every day

Marry Me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me

Feel like I am close enough to you

You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you

And you're beautiful

Now that the wait is over

And love and has finally shown her my way

Marry me

Today and every day

Marry me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Promise me

You'll always be

Happy by my side

I promise to

Sing to you

When all the music dies

And marry me

Today and everyday

Marry me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will

Mm-hmm

Say you will

Marry me

Mm-hmm 

Two hints that will let you know who I am talking about [that is if you know me].

Angels come in all colors, shapes and sizes

An 8-year-old girl sees an angel hold down her house during an EF-4 tornado.
This is amazing. I just had to post this link. It is amazing how when tragedies like the tornado outbreak this past week happen it makes you second guess your belief system and the faith that you have. Or at least it always makes me take a second look at what my faith system is like and how I believe in things. I believe in God and I believe there are angels among us everyday. This is just one of those times where an angel makes an appearance and someone has a chance to report the miracle that angels are to us. 
To read the official article click here.
Nick BanaszakWHNT News 19 Reporter

9:58 p.m. CDT, May 4, 2011

HARVEST, AL—

Do you believe in angels? A Harvest family whose home was obliterated by one of last week's deadly tornadoes say they are convinced.

8 year-old Emily Shelt says an angel from heaven appeared in her grandmother's house on Smith-Vasser Road last week just moments before it was leveled by an EF-4 tornado. Emily and her grandmother, aunt and little brother all took cover in a hallway, praying for life, but expecting the worst. Emily said at that moment the angel appeared just a few feet away from her.

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"What got my attention was his head, and I was like 'Who is that?" said Emily. "He was wearing a white shirt with white pants and white tennis shoes. I was like 'Thank you God for coming,' and he was like 'No problem,'. Then he said 'Don't worry Emily, I'm holding your grandmother's house down. You're not going anywhere."

None of the other family members saw the angel, but said they know for sure that Emily is telling the truth.

"My 8 year-old is giving a testimony about God that people really need to listen to," said Emily's grandmother, Carole Sanfratello. "She's intelligent, and she heard God speak." "It's a miracle," added Emily's aunt Nicole Wilbanks. "We should be dead right now."

Sheriff's deputies flooded the area once the twister had passed, and initially ruled the entire family dead after viewing the wreckage from afar. But all four family members emerged from the rubble unharmed, with the only injury a minor foot scratch to Sanfratello. The house was ruled a total loss.

"You may not believe it, but I do because I saw him with my own eyes," said Emily. " The last time I saw him I was about to go out the window to get out, and he was like 'Don't worry Emily. Anytime you need me, I'm right here."