Wednesday, February 26, 2014

What Being A Fat Girl Is Like

One of the main points I like to cover in my blog is my Plus Size lifestyle. Cosmo published a piece called What Being A Fat Girl Is Really Like and Claire from Chattermonkey suggested plus size bloggers get involved and answer these questions also. 

Here are the questions and my answers to them. Enjoy!   

1. How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?

To each their own, but I try not to use such words. I do mention how I feel fat after overeating, but that is simply because I overate. I haven't been around someone in a really long time that has said, "I look fat," and thank goodness for that. If you look fat then do something about it and stop trying to make me make you feel better about your insecurities, especially if you're not legitimately overweight. Be comfortable with yourself whether it be small or large. 

2. How has your body image changed since high school? College?
In high school I was a quiet, reserved and shy teenager who wore blue jeans that didn't flatter my body, t-shirts that showed no shape and not until my senior year did I start wearing shapely dresses. I never wore heels and wore my hair up a lot. I didn't put much into my looks and felt the same. I didn't feel a lot for my body image. I didn't think highly of myself nor did I think negatively about myself. I was definitely heavier then than I am now. 

3. Have you tried dieting? What happened?
I have dieted before, but in January 2012 I stopped the dieting and started my lifestyle change. The difference is that when you diet you restrict yourself. My lifestyle change allows me to eat what I want in moderation all while exercising and being a lot more active than I used to be. I splurge on weekends and stay strict during the day. By being more active and counting calories and eating what I want in moderation I have lost right at 100 pounds! 

4. Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?
I believe a good bit of it has to do with genetics. The majority of both sides of my family are overweight. With years of unhealthy decisions is hard to reverse, but I am trying to be healthier. I believe I will always be plus size and I am perfectly fine with that. I believe my curves are very feminine and make me feel that way. I would rather be healthy and curvy than healthy and not curvy. I have even been told that I look great in the clothes I wear because I actually have the curves to fill them out. This made me happy and I have definitely embraced that. 

5. Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?
I am healthier. I am not as healthy as I would like. I do average 60 minutes of physical activity five times a week and I eat 1,590 calories a day without exercise and right at 1,900 with exercise. The thing that counts against me is my love of chocolate and Chinese food. 

6. Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you’re at? Have they always been?
Actually, they are. I am 100 pounds lighter than I was two years ago and they're ecstatic about that because all they want for me is to live a healthy and happy life. 

7. How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people?
Not place plus size sections in the corner and limit the section to a laughable five or six racks. I literally went shopping the other day and went into JC Penney because they do have a plus size selection but it took me 20+ minutes to find the plus size section. Once I found it (upstairs with the children's section, house goods and lingerie) not downstairs with all other apparel except children's. They find it best to put the only apparel (plus size) besides kids on the second floor. I was so frustrated because I have usually had good experiences with JC Penney and this was just disappointing. Another situation I encountered was Forever 21. I remember seeing promotions with the rolling out of their plus size selections. 
I went to a Forever 21 in a large mall in downtown Atlanta, and after walking the store for about 10 minutes I finally found the plus size racks (I say racks because there were only about 5 racks) in the corner right in front of the dressing room. Why must stores find it best to hide the plus size selections in a corner at the back of the store or on the second level where there aren't any other clothes for adults? If someone can answer this question for me please elaborate below.

8. Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How?

Plus size = plus size regardless of sex. I do believe, however, that men are more visual; therefore, women are judged more-so on their appearance as opposed to men, but not too much because women are very judgmental. Women judge men and they also judge other women! Humans tend to be judgmental in general so I believe we are all judged but differently I am sure. 

9. Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it?
Most definitely; plus size individuals tend to be seen as lazy. They are also seen as not caring about their body, lack of self-esteem, etc. My boyfriend said it best when he asked a more petite woman why she worked out and she said she worked out because she wanted to look good because she wants to find a good man. I work out because I want myself to be healthier not so that I can get a man. By the way, I haven't said how much of an awesome man my boyfriend is. He is so intelligent and loves everything about me. He finds my curves sexy and loves how active I am although I am plus size. Just because someone is plus size doesn't mean they don't work out or they don't exercise. I've been working out and exercising for two years and I am still plus size. I am happy about that fact and I am a lot healthier than I was before. I see very small/petite individuals downing sodas and Cheetos only to wash it down with cookies. I don't do that and I am still larger but chances are I am healthier. Moral: don't judge a book by its cover! 

10. Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight?
There is never a "right" way to tell someone you're concerned about their weight. If it is in good spirits it will be easier on the messenger but if it is in bad spirits, good luck! If someone's weight means that much to you then maybe you should reevaluate yourself. Unless the person is flaunting along early demise because of their weight then it might not be your place to express your concerns. I can speak from personal experience. I've had a man tell me I would not be able to fight the men off with a stick if I lost weight and that never phased me. You know why? Because I was happy with myself. Until that person decides they want to change they won't change. 

11. What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?
See previous comment. I have only really had one person who said multiple things to me and that was an old man who literally had dementia. 

12. How did you respond?
I just agreed and said I was happy with myself. I took his remarks with a grain of salt unless I was in a bad mood and then it became an issue but I never just flipped my top on him. He wasn't worth it. 

13. What have people said (or do you wish they’d say) that would compliment your body or appearance?
I get compliments about my style and my eyes from respectable people. There are other comments I get but those aren't respectable enough to post on this blog.  

14. Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?
Actually no; all of my friends are smaller than me. I do follow plus size bloggers and seek them out here because that's one of my focus areas and I love to study about it. 

15. How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?
It hasn't. 

16. When you’ve been single, has your weight affected your dating life?
I didn't actually start dating until I got to college (which is where I became more comfy within myself to start dating). I wasn't ready to put myself out there when I didn't even fully know myself. 

17. Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women?
If they only dated larger women it does make me reconsider if they were with me or if they were with my body. BUT I don't have to worry about that because I have the most amazing Brown Bear who loves me so very much now! He is the best boyfriend ever!  

18. Do you feel weird if he’s only dated slimmer women before you?
No; same as previous answer. If he had only dated slimmer women then why was he with me? Was it because of me or my body. The main point of the last two answers was to determine if he was with me or my body. 

Hope you enjoyed! 

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